Bands That Need To Retire

Wayne Blogged The...Bands That Need To Retire
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After seeing The Eagles on Monday, and watching VH1 Rock Honors: The Who, I've been thinking a lot about "classic rock" bands that are receiving AARP info along with their royalties. Now, in my opinion, not all bands from the 60's, 70's, and 80's need to hang up the proverbial boots just yet. But there are some that do, no matter how blinded we are by nostalgia. So to make this a bit more organized, I'll include a grade of their latest performance/album, and a status as to when they should retire. Simple enough? Okay...

Bands That Need To Retire: NOW

-Bob Dylan: A legend indeed, but enough's enough Bobby D. Over the past decade Dylan has retreated into the genre of blues simply because he can't sing (or bark) anything else. There are rare nights (like the one I witnessed at McCoy Stadium in 2006) where he actually gives a great performance of some classics, but overall the mastermind behind such songs as Tangled Up In Blue, Like A Rolling Stone, and It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding is doing nothing but jeopardizing how the future generations of music lovers judge his legacy with songs such as Tweedly Dum & Tweedly Dee...(Modern Times: C-; Live show: D)

-Rolling Stones: Keiff, oh dear Keiff. Please stop. (A Bigger Bang: D; Live Show: C)

-The Who: This is a must. Only 50% of the band's original incarnation are alive, and of the two remaining, only Pete has anything left in the tank. Daltry's voice is gone, but what can you expect? I'm very surprised that this band still sells as many tickets as they do. I saw them four years ago, and have not been tempted to see them again. Not even for Pino Palladino's bass playing (I think Pino's better than Entwhistle, sue me). (Endless Wire: D; Live Show: D)

-Paul McCartney: Let me precursor this with the fact that I think Paul McCartney wrote better songs than any other Beatle. I think his solo work is very underrated by music snobs like myself, and I also think that Driving Rain is worth a second listen, you assholes. That being said, Macca hasn't put out a great album since Flaming Pie, which was over a decade ago. Don't get me wrong, Chaos and Creation was good, very solid, but 75% of Memory Almost Full is just awful leftovers from the pre-Mills era. Sorry Paul...(Memory Almost Full: D+; Live Show: B+)

-Ringo Starr: Seriously, how excited can a Beatles fan honestly be to see Ringo in concert. "Holy Shit! He's playing Don't Pass Me By!!!"...(entire post-Beatles career, excluding his stint as the conductor on Shining Time Station: F)

-Leonard Cohen: I'm in love with this man's early output, but he should've retired when the synthesizer was invented. (anything past 1984: C-)

Bands That Need To Retire: Within 5 years

-The E Street Band: It's gonna be a sad, sad day when this one comes. The Boss and Co. still put on amazing three hour shows, and release solid albums. But, they're droppin' like flies. Danny Federici's death earlier this year sparked my concern, which wasn't helped by the fact that the 'Big Man' Clarence Clemmons needs a chair on stage now...However, I can still see the band rockin' until 2012. As for Bruce, you're gonna have to look further down...(Magic: B; Live Show: A+)

-U2: I don't mind these guys. They're a good rock band. But Bono's not gonna be able to pretend he's 25 forever. (How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb: B; Live Show: B)

-Steely Dan: Honestly, if Steely Dan retired today, I'd be okay with that decision. Their band is tight, but times have changed and I don't feel like their music's appreciated in the 21st century. The only reason I'm giving them another five years is because I'm really hoping for one more album. (Everything Must Go: A-; Live Show: B)

-The Eagles: Sure, their show's great. Long Road Out Of Eden was a solid output as well. But it took them over 7 years of concentrated effort to make that record. It's good, but not 7 years good...(Long Road Out Of Eden: B; Live Show: A)

Bands That Can Die Doing What They Do:

Bruce Springsteen: His band may need to call it quits, but I can't see the Boss joining them. I have a vision of a 75 year old Springsteen playing Thunder Road at the Grammys somewhere in the future. (solo career effort: B; Live show: A+)

Elvis Costello: The Imposters may be dropped somewhere along the line, but Costello will be writing wittier songs that any of his contemporaries for a long time to come. (Momofuku: A; Live Show: B)

show review: The Eagles

Wayne Blogged The...Show Review: The Eagles
TD Banknorth Garden. Boston, MA. July 28, 2008
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Don Henley has been singing Hotel California for 31 years. That's a longer amount of time than he was alive when he wrote it (lyrics only). And besides a half-step key change, not much has changed since 1977 when it comes to The Eagles performance of the classic. The same can be said with the dozens of other classics played at the GAHD'N last night.

The show opened with four songs off of The Long Road Out Of Eden, the group's first full-length album since 1979, which was released last year. They sounded sharp, if not a bit hesitant, from the opening bars of How Long. The only noticeable difference was not an auditory one, but a visual. They looked old.

Henley, who turned 61 less than a week ago, had his hair slicked back in a very 'grandpa' manner; Timothy B. Schmit looked a bit like a corpse when the lights hit him in an unflattering manner; Joe Walsh looks a bit like this man now (minus the mustache); and Glenn Frey...well, Frey actually hasn't changed much over the years...good for him.

The new songs were received decently by the crowd of over 12,000. And, just like the classics, they were crafted to perfection on the road. The only surprise, which may have only been noticed by me, was that the key to I Don't Wanna Hear Anymore was lowered for Mr.Schmit. Only surprising for two reasons: 1) Schmit is renowned for his high tenor, and 2) The song's new...why not just record it in a lower key?

The first old song the band launched into was Hotel California. The obligatory mega-jam between Joe Walsh and sideman-extrodinare Steuart Smith went smoothly, and the crowd seemed to be relieved that The Eagles still had it, and that they wouldn't just be playing the new stuff.

Eight songs later, the first half concluded. And after a short pee-break, the band came back on stage and launched into the haunting four part harmony of No More Walks In The Wood. Followed by Waiting In The Weeds...

Now, I have a bit of an issue with this song. I love it, so much. It's easily the best song off the new record, and an overall wonderfully written song. But my lord, the cliches. Here's a list of them, all featured in this 7 minute 47 second song:
-every dog will have his day -the dream was over -go down in flame -final scene, frozen frame -slowly fade away -waiting for the dust to settle down -outskirts of this lonesome town -sunlight in your hair -even though you're with somebody else, he'll never love you like I do -flavour of the week -fallen out of your good graces

My oh my.

But all is forgiven, the boys still have it. They proved that soon-to-be-senior-citizens still rock harder than the majority of younger bands today. And as Frey and Walsh joked around before the beginning of Heartache Tonight, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad. These guys have gone through a lot together, but who knows how much longer this band can exist...they barely even tolerate eachother offstage, and they're not getting any younger. But for now, we can forget about all that and just enjoy, as Frey put it "The Eagles: Assisted Living Tour" as it's rolled into a town near you, most likely in wheelchairs.

Blog

Wayne Blogged The...Blog
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So, is anybody reading this blog? I really have no way to tell. So, here's the deal.

If you're reading this, leave a comment saying so. I just wanna see if I'm the only one interested in this...

The Dark Knight

Wayne Blogged The...Dark Knight
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Superhero movies have become a trend once again in the last decade or so. Superman Returned, Batman begun, Spiderman sucked. It seems to me that whenever America is caught in a very (ahem) delicate and scary position, the masses flood to superhero movies. As do the studios.

And to truly appreciate the good movies of this over-populated genre, you must consider the awful. The Fantastic Four...awful. Superman Returns was lackluster at best (since when is Lex Luther a real-estate guru/diabolical madman?). Ironman had a chance to be good, but was too self-indulgent and flashy. The Hulk (and it's twin follow-up/do-over The Incredible Hulk) barely even show up on the radar.

Then, in 2005, Christopher Nolan took the Batman franchise to a new high. Batman Begins was the most realistic and plausible superhero movie of all time. The film was intense, and it was great to see the backstory of Batman finally be explained. But even then, you felt like there was something more that could have been done. A certain greatness that was hinted at but not fully acheived.

That greatness has been acheived, fully. The Dark Knight was not only the best superhero movie I've ever seen, but it's also one of the best films I've ever seen. Heath Ledger's interpretation of the Joker is terrifying, and hilarious. An unbeliveable performance, which Ledger probably wouldn't have topped if he had lived long enough to challenge it. Hemingway said "all good stories end in death", and Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker fits that mold. Although the villan's fate is only hinted at, we all know what really happened to The Joker. In other words, he won't be in the sequel. Ledger's unfortunate death actually added weight and depth to the film...not a fair trade, but it works to the film's advantage.

If I keep writing, I run the risk of sounding like a fan-boy. So I'll leave it at this: I've never been this blown away by an "action" movie. I will be seeing it again, most likely tomorrow.

Boston Bruins 2007-08 season (A Retrospective)

Wayne Blogged The...Boston Bruins 2007-08 Season A Retrospective
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It's usually around this point in the summer when I really begin to miss hockey season, and look forward to October. This year is no different, and lately I've been YouTube-ing videos of games 3,5, and 6 of this year's Boston/Montreal playoff tilt.

Last season was one of the most exciting seasons in recent memory. Especially after the B's were presumed dead in late October when Patrice Bergeron suffered a season-ending injury. If that wasn't enough, off-season acquisition Manny Fernandez turned out to be (at least a temporary) bust when the ol' knee injury came back to haunt him. Aaron Ward, Andrew Alberts, Chuck Kobasew, and captain Zdeno Chara were all out for a decent stretch of the season with injuries. But the Bruins continued to play hard under new coach Claude Julien.

Tim Thomas shocked the hockey world with an All-Star year, Marc Savard played like a remodeled Adam Oates, and rookie tough guy Milan Lucic brought a new attitude to the Bruins. Supporting members Glen Metropolic, Marco Sturm, Denis Wideman, Phil Kessel, and David Krecj all helped push this team of spare parts into the postseason for the first time since the lockout.

And it had to be the Montreal Canadiens in the first round. I would have taken Pittsburgh over Montreal. Anybody over Montreal...

Make no mistake, I loathe the Habs. They're the only professional sports team I honestly hate. Their cheap style of hockey is the most annoying spectacle: classless diving, instigating, and unsportsmanlike flashiness. And don't even get me started on their fans; invading opponent's arenas with their flamboyant "ole'" chants. Singing "hey, hey, hey, goodbye" after GAME 1!! And their bad haircuts...

My hatred for the Montreal Canadiens is so deeply rooted. I've hated the Habs since I started watching hockey in 1990 (age 2...). So try to imagine my excitement being present at Game 3, in overtime, when Marc Savard scored the game winning goal, jumpstarting the Bruins and beating the Habs for the first time in 2008, and half of 2007.

And although the Black and Gold blew it in Game Seven, they only lost the series by one goal. Game 4's 1-0 loss was painful, as was Game 2's OT loss. Sadly, The Bruins ended the series in a similar fashion they began it, flat-footed and outplayed.

But I have nothing but good things to say about this Bruins team. And about the Bruins future. This season was incredible, down to the last game. With Bergeron back, and Manny on the mend, the B's have a good shot of extending their season. And I have a good shot of extending my playoff beard, so it's a win-win scenario.

Offseason

Wayne Blogged The...Offseason
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Summer is my least favorite season (In case you're wondering the order, it's 1) Fall, 2) Winter, 3) Spring, 4) Summer). It's hot, I don't have an AC, I'm stuck in suburbia, and baseball's the only sport on.

Don't get me wrong, I love baseball. But the "real" season doesn't begin until after the All Star Game. Right now it's just...blah. Football's still a couple of months away, hockey trailing shortly after that, and then basketball. I miss the action! I miss losing my voice on Sunday night's after a day of screaming at my TV. But most of all, I miss hockey. A lot.

My Bruins did great this year. They overcame injuries, and many-a-naysayer to actually make the playoffs and force a game seven against the (goddamn) Habs (see my next post about that whole series...)

But needless to say...there's not much to do around here. My band is on hiatus for the summer, my guitar strings are rusted, I'm broke, and working in a deli along with some of the most incompetent people I've ever met in my life...ever.

Luckily, there are some fun things to distract me for the next few months. I'll be seeing some good shows (Spoon, Wilco, Andrew Bird, Radiohead, The Eagles, and (hopefully) Bruce Springsteen), I've got a great group of friends who tolerate me and my fart-jokes, and I'll be heading into New York City this week proudly sporting a Red Sox shirt. Wish me luck...

The Silver Jews

Wayne Blogged The...Silver Jews.
namely, American Water
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There's something about indie rock bands with a revolving door of supporting members that intrigues me. And while other acts such as Guided By Voices and Golden Smog have been able to maintain the image of a band, I don't feel The Silver Jews have accomplished that. It seems more like a really cool club. Just a bunch of authors, poets, and rockers getting together to record an amazing album.

The brainchild of David Berman and Steve Malkmus (yes, THE Malkmus of Pavement), The Silver Jews have released six LPs since their formation, and have had 26 members over that time period. Awesome, right?

Berman's voice echoes Leonard Cohen's 1980's incarnation, while his writing has been compared to Bob Dylan. The music drawls on without much complaining, by neither the audience or the band. Yet, there's something hypnotizing about the band's output. I can honestly listen to American Water no matter what mood I'm in, and it fits. I've been on roadtrips, in depressive spells, underneath girlfriends, and on top of the world while listening to their music. (I hope you appreciate the humor in that last sentence as much as I do...)

I've been wanting to write down my favorite lines off of this record for a while. But here are a few I can remember:
The alleys are the footnotes of the avenues - Why can't monsters get along with other monsters?
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People ask people to watch their scotch.
People send people up to the moon.
When they return, well there isn't much.
People be careful not to crest too soon.
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o come let us adore them California overboard when the sun sets on the ghetto all the broken stuff gets cold. (holdin' up their trousers with extension cords)
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But perhaps my favorite song off the album (and perhaps of their entire discography) is Federal Dust, which is co-written and co-sang with Steve Malkmus:

They don't walk and they don't talk in Malibu. They don't vote and they don't smoke. I know you're blue… They don't cream and they don't dream in Kansas City. They don't crack and they don't act. I know you're ready… They don't cry and they don't die in South Dakota. (just like a seagull) They don't match and they don't hatch in South Dakota. Here comes the coda. Not much water coming over the hill…..
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